so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
