yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just gift wrapped bread.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
