I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
