She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
