They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
