she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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