Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
