i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
