If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
