now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
