My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
bring money and cleavage
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
