At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
