remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
