I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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