I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
