then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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