the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
