There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
