This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
