I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Randomize
