Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
