this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
