Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
