singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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