I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
