I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
