I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
