I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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