new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
