I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
