I wanna passion pit in your ass
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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