just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
