i would punch a child for taco bell
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
