i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
