when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
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