didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i came on her dog
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
