I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
