areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm jealous of your bromance
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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