I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
