Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
