So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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