I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
