well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
