I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
