Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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