Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
