Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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