She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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