Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Boobs speak an international language.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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