now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
